Not Guilty of Love Page 2

  Her eyes pleaded for understanding. "I know how special your love is, but I don't know how to balance you and God..." Her voice faded. "It's hard to put in words, but when I sat in church that Sunday, God showed me myself. It was a premonition of where I was headed." She shivered. "Malcolm, I had to make a choice; either now, or never. I chose now."

  "My sweet little woman got caught up in the moment." He paused and gathered his thoughts. "I'm not a man to be picked over, Hali." Malcolm released his fists and slid his hands into his pants pockets. "Again, do you love me?"

  For a second time, Hallison didn't respond. Her eyes glossed over like lacquer. When she remained quiet, Malcolm nodded. He had his answer. Turning to leave, he heard a faint, "Yes."

  Malcolm spun around, not realizing he had been holding his breath. "Remember that when you meet me at the altar." He believed Hallison was worth fighting for, even if the competition was God.

  Chapter One

  Months later...

  The party was in full swing. Hallison exhaled. She embraced the happiness as her eyes sparkled at the shower's turnout. She stopped counting the number of well-wishers who paraded through the door. The apprehension she had felt at the start of the gathering was fading. The excitement in the room was contagious. Judging from the elaborate gift-wrapped boxes, hidden treasures were sure to capture oohs and aahs. She smiled.

  "Don't you think you went a little overboard on the food and decorations? You must've paid the caterer a fortune," Hallison complained sarcastically to Malcolm's older brother.

  Throwing his head back, Parke VI laughed and capped it with a satisfying grin. "You should know that when the Jamiesons throw a shindig, we go all the way, and this is a special occasion," he defended jubilantly as he encircled his wife, Cheney's, somewhat protruding stomach before engaging her in a slow dance across the room until they disappeared.

  Married almost two years, the couple considered themselves still on their honeymoon. Cheney was gorgeous, confident, and madly in love with her husband. Tall and shapely, her six foot height was a plus to camouflage the extra weight she had already gained. Her bright yellow skin glowed. Cheney's rich, dark features shined. She was the poster child for any mother-to-be magazine.

  Parke VI and Malcolm had identical facial features: long noses, dimpled smiles, and fair skin. Each sported short, wavy jet-black hair and thick, silky eyebrows. Whereas Parke preferred a long, thin mustache, Malcolm was dangerously handsome with a well-groomed beard. At thirty-three, Malcolm stood an inch taller than Parke's six foot five, plus Malcolm was buff. Women sometimes mistook them for the former NBA player-turned-actor, Rick Fox.

  The Jamieson brothers, all three of them—Parke VI, Malcolm, and the youngest, Cameron, who lived in Boston— were intelligent connoisseurs of their ancestry, committed to their convictions, and faithful to their women to a fault, which had been the source of Hallison's problem.

  Since Hallison and Cheney dated the Jamieson brothers, it was assumed they would become friends. That was an understatement. The women developed a bond closer than a set of twins, and their relationship continued after Cheney and Parke married. So, without argument, Hallison was designated to host the first of four baby showers. It wasn't the baby shower extravaganza that Parke's parents wanted to throw for their first biological grandchild, who, if male, would continue the Jamieson lineage that had been recorded in a tattered journal hundreds of years ago.

  Cheney wanted something simple. To make everyone happy, she agreed to four baby showers over the next four months, given by her in-laws, her parents, her former neighbor's sassy seniors group, and finally the managers at her job. Parke and Cheney figured their baby would be partied out by the time he, or she, arrived.

  Hallison was shaking her head at the absurdity of the multiple parties, when her heart skipped a beat. Laughter, lively conservations, and jazz spewing from the surround-sound speakers couldn't drown out Malcolm's trademark appearance. The doorbell buzzed twice, paused, and buzzed again. As if knowing Parke's door would be unlocked, Malcolm waltzed into the living room. His presence demanded attention. Without asking, he got it. Hallison's heartbeat accelerated.

  It had been months since Hallison had seen him. She had purposely avoided him when she visited Parke and Cheney. A few times they had come face-to-face, but Hallison had a ready-made excuse to flee. "Oh. Hi, Malcolm. I'm on my way out. I don't want to be late for church," she would say, reciting a practiced line.

  His speechless response was also preset with an amused expression, challenging her truthfulness. Twice, she had driven to the church and sat in the parking lot, repenting for the fib. She couldn't keep running away from her temptation, so she refused to bolt this time.

  Months ago, she had invited Malcolm to what she considered their final, intimate dinner. Surrounded by the restaurant's romantic ambience, Hallison sobbed silently as she placed the four-carat diamond ring back into his palm with a shaky hand. Begrudgingly, Malcolm accepted more than the ring. It symbolized their engagement had officially terminated, and their couple status had been dissolved.

  Malcolm wasn't the one who got away, but was instead the man God instructed Hallison to give away. The Lord had issued the ultimatum: Malcolm, the love of her life, or Him, the One who gave her life.

  Women would be waiting on the sidelines, ready to steal Malcolm's affections, with a no-option-for-his-release clause in a relationship contract. On the outside, Hallison felt she was a fool to let a good man go, but spiritually, as a self-proclaimed backslider, her salvation clock was ticking. To her, the decision was a smart move, one she couldn't explain, except to a few church friends. God had let her know, loud and clear, she had to first deny herself of her fleshly desires, pick up her cross, and follow Him.

  How long would I have to fast until I would be spiritually strong enough to quench my craving for Malcolm's voice, his touch, and his smoldering eyes? she questioned God, as she controlled her breathing to keep Malcolm from seeing how much he affected her.

  Glancing around the room, nothing seemed fascinating while her soul nagged God. Was it so bad that I wanted to make love with the man I loved unconditionally and who faithfully loved me? She tried to sway God's mind and plead her case.

  But the Lord responded, I first loved you and gave my life for you. Trust me with your life. Fornicators will I judge.

  Hallison twisted her lips in defeat. God had her best interest at heart, but Malcolm was her Biblical King David, her Solomon, and her Prince Paki. The latter, Prince Paki Kokumuo Jaja, was Malcolm's tenth great-grandfather, born December 1770, in Cote d'lvoire, Africa. He was the firstborn son of King Seif of the Diomande tribe. Despite his warriors' protection, Paki was abducted and herded on a ship steered toward the Americas. Landing in Maryland, Paki was indoctrinated into servitude. He was automatically separated from his bodyguards and sold for a couple of hundred dollars in front of Sinner's Hotel, of all places. Ironically, the woman who would later become his wife was the slave master's daughter, Elaine.

  Malcolm epitomized a contemporary version of an African warrior—strong, fearless, and determined. The only thing that kept Hallison from running back into Malcolm's arms had been part of Hebrews 12...Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.

  Hallison's shoulders slumped as guests, unknowingly, created a Red Sea path for Malcolm. He acknowledged them with a nod of generic hellos before hugging Parke and kissing Cheney on the cheek. Then she became his next destination.

  "Hali," Malcolm greeted as he peeled off his black leather jacket and gloves, uncovering a black woolen turtleneck that squeezed his abs, biceps, and chest. He dropped them on the closest chair. If his cologne wasn't enough to make her woozy, his pants stretched to fit his physique, and his highly polished boots would make any woman faint from appreciation of God's divine specimen.

  "Hi," Hallison remembered to reply as her body debated if it would aid her to stan
d. She resolved that Malcolm's eyes would always be her weakness. They were a hypnotic brown.

  She was defeated. How could she ever get over him, even if God paraded hundreds of princes before her? Malcolm, the dimple smiling, financially secure, and weight-lifting competitor was a man whose DNA could not be cloned. It's not funny, Lord, that you make me forsake the man I love, only to tempt me with him.

  Malcolm's nostrils flared as his breathing deepened. He didn't need words to communicate. Hallison knew exactly what he was thinking. This whole "Malcolm, you don't have a relationship with Christ, so we can't have a relationship" mantra was the craziest thing he had ever heard.

  At first, he thought she was getting cold feet about their impending marriage. Evidently, they had frozen, but nothing a long, warm foot massage couldn't fix. He and Hallison didn't haphazardly fall in love. Now, that was God's purpose, he figured. Their emotions were woven so tightly that even a two-edged sword couldn't slice it.

  He stepped closer, forcing them to share the same air. He allowed her time to adjust to his foray into her personal space. When she squirmed, he smirked. "Would you like for me to get you something to drink?" he asked, reversing his role as guest to Hallison's slave.

  "Ah... no, no thank you," she stuttered. Her eyes were glazed with passion.

  Malcolm frowned mockingly. "Are you sure? Because you look thirsty. As a matter of fact, I'm parched." Malcolm wasn't talking about water and Hallison knew it. Their explosive kisses were addictive, like mountain stream water.

  He retreated, allowing Hallison enough room to escape. He loved her too much to continue making her uncomfortable, although he could strangle her for tormenting his body for want. For the rest of the night, Malcolm didn't confront her.

  Instead, he appreciated her from afar. Hallison's two-piece outfit, with flared pants, flattered her shape. Malcolm didn't have to guess that her toes, hidden in fashionable ankle boots, were manicured. The liberty to rub his face in her hair was now denied, but he presumed it was freshly scented from a recent hair appointment. She believed in keeping herself groomed for him. Man. He bit his bottom lip.

  Their relationship began to spiral out of control once they set foot in the hotel for a weekend getaway. They were so close to making love for the first time. Malcolm thought he would suffer a heart attack when she suddenly backed out of occupying the same suite. That was a while ago, but his mind and body pegged it as yesterday. Everything had been planned—the suite, the roses, the sole activity.

  "Do you want to get kidnapped?" he remembered asking her over the phone one night.

  "Yes, I'd be your willing prisoner," Hallison whispered with a haughty chuckle.

  For the next hour, they had exchanged all sorts of naughty ideas.

  "Then I'll sweep you away for a romantic weekend getaway at the Ritz Carlton. We'll go after Parke's get- together tomorrow night. Pack very little. As a matter of fact, don't pack anything."

  Malcolm's nostrils flared when he reflected on that night. He exhaled and squinted while Hallison continued to mingle with Parke and Cheney's friends and neighbors, without giving him a second glance. Malcolm didn't need to approach Hallison to release vibes. He read her body language. She was nervous.

  Sometime later, Parke placed their adopted daughter, Kami, on his lap. She had been the first, and youngest, of three foster children Cheney, who was single at the time, had sponsored in her home. Although becoming a foster parent was initially Cheney's idea, Parke had gotten involved. He had adored Cheney and would've done anything to make her happy, which included assisting her with the care of the foster children, when Cheney had been at such a low point in her life, and she didn't know if God had the remedy.

  Cheney had accepted Kami as a foster child when she was two years old. A year later, one couldn't tell that Kami was once combative, out of control and possessive of her things, which somehow included Parke. When Kami was moved to another home, she terrorized her new foster parents. The toddler was promptly returned to the agency. After Parke and Cheney married, they formally adopted her. Now, fourteen months later, she was rambunctious, but obedient... sometimes.

  Parke scooted closer to his wife. Hallison claimed Cheney's opposite side for the ceremonial unwrapping of baby gifts. Refusing to make eye contact with Malcolm, Hallison reached for a pad to record the gifts and the givers. Uninvited, Malcolm made himself comfortable next to Hallison to pass the presents. Trapping her between him and Cheney, he occasionally brushed his finger against Hallison's hand. Accidently, of course, he taunted.

  His brother's eyes reacted to every expression on Cheney's face as she opened the boxes. Baby, wedding, and engagement showers weren't usually sentimental for men, but evidently Parke didn't get the memo.

  More than a year ago, Cheney and Parke had been neighbors, separated by several blocks, in a historic St. Louis suburb called Old Town Ferguson. Parke had a reputation of having a long list of female acquaintances. Until he met his future wife, his claim was he couldn't decide on just one. Cheney was a naturally independent woman. When Parke barged into her life, Cheney began to shed her emotional armor until their romance became any woman's fairytale.

  As their relationship progressed, Parke had confided to Malcolm that Cheney couldn't have kids, and for a time, that was enough of a reason for Parke to walk away. The Jamiesons took their family history seriously. Parke VI was responsible for continuing their heritage, which had been traced back to the firstborn African-American male. When an old friend of Parke’s shared her testimony about the Lord, Parke's family legacy was no longer the most important thing to him, compared to Cheney, in his life. Eventually, they both accepted God's salvation and His blessings.

  There had been a rumor about a boy possibly named Parke in foster care, but that couldn't be substantiated, so the child growing inside Cheney's womb was their hope for a Parke VII. Without the results of modern technology, Parke felt their unborn baby was a boy. Despite his protests of wanting it to be a surprise at birth, he was welcoming a son or another daughter into his family.

  The only reason Parke repented, and was baptized the same day as Cheney, was to support her. Afterward, God revealed His plan for their lives. It was His will that Parke would unwittingly come to Christ by unknowingly bringing Cheney. Malcolm wasn't that soft. If God wanted Malcolm, then He should come to Malcolm man to man.

  Tears welled in Cheney's eyes. "I'm going to have to change the baby's clothes every time I change his or her diapers to wear all of these adorable outfits."

  "Correction," Parke interrupted, "I plan to have diaper duty with the little prince or princess, too."

  "You've got him trained already. I love it!" Mrs. Wright, a middle-aged woman said, clapping her hands, pleased.

  The comment didn't register as Cheney and Parke shared a tender kiss while Kami struggled to separate them. "Ugh."

  The couple ignored the snickers, but parted when clapping erupted. Hallison stole a glance at Malcolm; his eyes were trained, waiting to meet hers.

  "Hey, you two, that's how Cheney got pregnant in the first place," another neighbor joked. "So do you know what you guys are going to have?"

  Parke shook his head as he twisted strands of his wife's hair around his finger. "Nope. We want to be surprised," they said in unison.

  Malcolm bowed his head to keep from laughing. God was going to get Parke for lying. By the time Cheney opened the twentieth gift, Kami was on the floor, shredding discarded wrappings into mini napkins for her Bratz dolls. Parke unnecessarily assisted Cheney in standing as she swatted against his help. Chuckling, Parke struggled with Kami to disengage the makeshift napkins from her hands. He ignored her pleas.

  "Thanks, everybody, for these gifts. What did everyone do? Raid the toy stores together?" Cheney teased. "That was work! You guys have worn me out. But seriously, I'm still dealing with bouts of fatigue. If you'll pardon me, I'm leaving my own party to take a power nap, but don't let my absence stop you from enjoying yourselves. Stay and stuff
yourselves."

  "Kami, let's help Mommy take the presents upstairs," Parke instructed.

  Shaking her head in defiance, Kami squeezed two of the toys. "Can I keep these?"

  "No, sweetheart; those aren't yours. It's for your baby brother or sister."

  Kami pouted. "My baby won't mind if I play with them."

  Parke sighed. "I am too tired to negotiate with you. C'mon," he said, tickling Kami's neck with his lips. Parke escorted his family up the stairs.

  Despite the invitation to stay, most of the guests also stood and gathered their belongings.

  "Hallison, baby, do you think Parke and Cheney would mind if I take a plate home to my husband?" an elderly neighbor asked.

  "I'm sure they wouldn't." Hallison hurried into the kitchen. Minutes later, she returned with an aluminum foil-wrapped paper plate. She repeated the task for three other guests until the last one left. Malcolm waited a few minutes before he cornered Hallison as she began to cover the leftovers.

  He moved closer until she was pinned against the wall. "So, you're over me, huh?" If she said yes, Malcolm and God would call her a liar. "Are you over this?" Again, she didn't answer as he teased her with a kiss. When she moaned, he did, too. Malcolm clutched her shoulders as he trailed pecks down her face. Hallison didn't protest. He whispered naughty nothings in her ear.

  "Yes," she whispered back, submitting to Malcolm and forsaking God. She didn't know if she meant yes, she was over Malcolm, or yes, she wanted more. All was forgotten until Parke raced down the steps like thunder. Hallison jumped and tried to detangle herself from Malcolm, but he refused to release her. Finally, Hallison broke away, panting.

  Parke huffed. "I didn't see that." He grimaced. "But just in case I did, back off, Malcolm. Why are you all over her? The breakup wasn't an easy choice to make."

  Malcolm mimicked Parke's stance and snarled. "You think my life is any easier without my woman? Do you really think Hali is happy without me? I doubt it. Your so-called Good News gospel has been the worst news I've heard in my life."