Guilty of Love Read online

  A GUILTY SERIES NOVEL

  BOOK 1

  ~~~

  (Second edition)

  BY

  PAT SIMMONS

  ~~~

  Smashwords Edition

  Copyright © 2007, 2014 Pat Simmons

  All rights reserved.

  This is a work of fiction. References to real events, organizations, and places are used in a fictional context. Any resemblances to actual people, living or dead are entirely coincidental.

  To read more books by this author, please visit www.patsimmons.net.

  First edition printed in the United States of America, 2011

  Second edition printed in United States of America, 2014 Generations Quest Press

  Edited/proofed by Karen McCullum Rodgers/critiqueyourbook.com

  Author photo: Angie Knost Photography

  Print ISBN-13: 978-1499784756

  Print ISBN-10: 1499784759

  Smashwords Edition License Notes

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author's work.

  PRAISES FOR PAT SIMMONS’S NOVELS:

  On The Guilty series:

  In GUILTY OF LOVE, Simmons' sometimes whimsical approach to delivering the message of salvation is anchored by opportune scriptures. The author boldly tackles issues like abortion, child abuse and anger toward God, adeptly guiding readers into romance, reconciliation and restoration as this novel flows effortlessly from haunting pasts to delectable happiness.— Romantic Times Book Review

  The different themes in GUILTY OF LOVE, such as abortion, adoption and the African American heritage is so well woven throughout the novel, that you don't realize you have actually learned anything until the end of the book. All in all, you get a bird's eye view on the consequences of abortion, insight on being a foster parent as well as an education on genealogy. — EKG Literary Magazine

  Pat Simmons has written a solid and satisfying story that will keep you glued until the last page. The characters are colorful and seem familiar. GUILTY OF LOVE describes friendship across racial lines, brotherly love, family issues and religion in a non-preachy format. Successfully merging a variety of topics into the storyline, Simmons has included information on forgiveness, love, black history and spirituality. —RAWSISTAZ Reviewer

  Simmons developed the characters so that I was drawn into their stories. I could feel every emotion. I laughed, cried, and wondered with each of them. It kept me glued to the pages. This was my first time reading Simmons's work, but I look forward to others. — APOOO Reviewer

  Simmons has written her best work with this sequel to GUILTY OF LOVE (NOT GUILTY OF LOVE). The richness of the characters and foundation of the word not only bring the story to life but will encourage you while renewing your faith in God. This is a Christian fiction work of art. — Deltareviewer

  On No Easy Catch (Carmen Sisters series):

  Throughout the story Rahn and Shae’s relationship starts out beautiful but then life happens. Will Rahn and Shae continue to strike out or will they hit a home run with God as their pitcher? The strong messages of faith had me at one time thinking had I kept my promises to God? I don’t know for sure but I’m certainly convicted. Simmons has a knack for writing stories that make you pause and reflect and this one doesn’t disappoint.

  One of my favorite quotes in the book was “when fear comes knocking let faith answer it. Once the door is open fear disappears. Its nuggets like this one that kept me turning pages. What an outstanding read!—Readers Paradise "Book Club"

  On Love at the Crossroads series:

  As always I was truly pleased reading the first book of this series. The characters are witty, loving, resourceful, kind, and flawed all at the same time. Losing a spouse has to be devastating for anyone and knowing you will never be able to have children is enough to shake your faith. Though the get weary and challenged God still gets the victory. I love that I'm getting prayer and bits and pieces of the Word throughout the entire book, along with a story that I can visually see unfolding right before my eyes.— SUBC New Orleans Chapter "Beyond The Book"

  Other Christian titles include:

  The Guilty series

  Book I: Guilty of Love

  Book II: Not Guilty of Love

  Book III: Still Guilty

  The Jamieson Legacy

  Book I: Guilty by Association

  Book II: The Guilt Trip

  Book III: Free from Guilt

  The Guilty Parties series

  Book I: The Acquittal

  Book II: The Confession (fall 2014)

  The Carmen Sisters

  Book I: No Easy Catch

  Book II: In Defense of Love, Spring 2015

  Love at the Crossroads

  Book I: Stopping Traffic

  Book II: A Baby for Christmas

  Book III: The Keepsake

  Making Love Work Anthology

  Book I: Love at Work

  Book II: Words of Love

  Book III: A Mother’s Love

  In Memory of

  Carroll “Jeani” Barnard

  September 1958-July 2002

  There is still no stopping us now.

  From a high school friendship, to partying all night, to receiving the Holy Ghost, to having babies. I’ll never forget Jeani who passed away as I was writing page one-hundred.

  And the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout and a voice of the archangel and the trump of God. The dead in Christ shall rise first. Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air. And so shall we ever be with the Lord.

  1 Thessalonians 4:16-17

  I’ll meet ya in the rapture.

  Table of Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-one

  Chapter Twenty-two

  Chapter Twenty-three

  Chapter Twenty-four

  Chapter Twenty-five

  Chapter Twenty-six

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  Chapter Twenty-nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty-one

  Chapter Thirty-two

  Chapter Thirty-three

  Chapter Thirty-four

  Chapter Thirty-five

  Epilogue

  Readers Guide

  To my readers

  PROLOGUE

  Durham, North Carolina

  “Larry,” a trembling voice whispered into the phone, “I’m pregnant.”

  Gripping the receiver, Cheney Reynolds sniffed back tears and held her breath. She waited for soothing words of comfort, shouts of jubilation, or any response from her boyfriend. Instead, silence ensued. Seconds dragged into minutes.

  A boom of laughter exploded in the hall outside her dorm. High-pitched voices consumed with gaiet
y seemed to belittle her predicament. Fellow Duke University students were making plans for the night. Cheney had to think beyond tonight. She had lost focus and allowed her promising, secured future to be in the hands of one man.

  Larry Thimes exhaled a restless breath through the phone before speaking as if his teeth were glued together. His words measured, his tone stiff, like the ugly all-season brown curtains hanging from her dorm window.

  “Then you know what must be done,” he responded in a clipped tone.

  “No. What?”

  “Get rid of it.”

  “Just like that? No discussion?” Cheney shut her eyes as darkness invaded her mind. “But—” She tasted the bile racing up her throat. “You can’t mean that.” The room began to spin. She closed her eyes, but the dizziness was already set in motion. This wasn’t supposed to happen. She and Larry had practiced safe sex. Was that a misnomer?

  “Sweetheart,” Larry said as if talking to a child, “you’re scheduled to graduate next semester, remember?”

  “I know, but—”

  “You’re enrolling in Duke’s Global Executive MBA program. Plus, I’m completing my J.D. and will be busy studying for the bar.”

  “Maybe—”

  “I can’t even support myself. Sorry, a baby isn’t an option for us right now.”

  Stress deepened the lines in Cheney’s forehead. What Larry said was true. She didn’t want to be an unwed mother. What would her parents say? Her mother would faint from the thought of embarrassment. Her philosophical father would gather his thoughts before advising her of his disappointment. Her older sister, Janae, would be shocked, and her twin brother would be ecstatic—Rainey always loved children.

  Sifting through her situation for the third time that day, Cheney had to concur with Larry. A pregnancy wasn’t in their plans. After all, she had won a four-year scholarship. I can’t just throw it all away. She was an educated, up-and-coming professional, but her heart pounded against her chest, refusing to comply. “Larry, maybe we should think about this. There has to be another way.”

  “No, Love. There isn’t.”

  She gnawed on her fist, crying. Larry was the calm, reasonable decision-maker in their relationship. He was the strong Black man every sistah craved and every woman would endure drastic measures to keep. His charm opened doors for him as if he were royalty. He had shown her how to love and was now the father of her child. Yet, he didn’t hesitate to say, “Kill it.” Her lover might as well have slapped her in the face.

  A collage of their romantic moments played in Cheney’s mind. She sighed, visualizing Larry’s long, dark-chocolate fingers outlining her lips when she smiled or right before he smothered them with kisses.

  Cheney remembered the night they shared their first slow dance at a campus fraternity party at the end of her freshmen year. At that magical moment, she wanted to be with Larry for the rest of her life. At the end of her sophomore year, she had shared her entire being with the self-confident, handsome and sensitive Larry Thimes.

  I could use some sensitivity right now, she pleaded silently. Didn’t Larry realize how much she was in love with him? Their souls had connected in passionate lovemaking that had produced a little miracle. A baby, their baby. Cheney shook her head in disbelief. She wanted to wake up from this nightmare. “Larry—”

  “Cheney. There’s no point to keep discussing this.”

  “There is no discussion. You’re dictating to me.”

  “We’ll have another child later,” he consoled before snapping, “How could you have been so stupid and allowed this to happen anyway?”

  “Me?” Did he just blame me? Larry’s harshness caused Cheney’s head to pound. Her heart ached as her stomach contracted. Suddenly, her prenatal, P-M-S, post-menopause, or any other hormones that scientists had yet to identify, kicked in. I am not the one to mess with, she shouted inwardly. Without a goodbye, she ended the call.

  It had taken Cheney seven days to accept the fact that she was a pregnant, unmarried college student. Larry gave little thought before his resounding, “no.”

  “Why couldn’t he say, ‘A baby? That’s wonderful,’ or ‘What do you want to do?’ or ‘We can get married now or later’,” she fussed to no one. Instead, Larry had failed the ultimate test. Sitting still on her narrow twin bed, Cheney listened as water dripped from a corner sink and voices shouted in her head.

  The boisterous women had moved inside to the adjoining suite connected by a small bathroom. Mentally tormented, Cheney collapsed against the wall, rubbing her belly. The phone rang, but it was her prerogative to ignore it.

  She needed time to think and pray. Instead, Cheney sobbed.

  As an hour ticked by, Cheney’s swollen eyes half-registered the room’s blackness. To wake up from a bad dream, she forced her body to move to the sink where she patted cold water on her numb, red face. She sighed at her tousled reflection. “I’m pregnant.” Cheney yanked her long, black hair as if she were about to extricate weeds from a manicured lawn. “Career or motherhood, what am I going to do? God, if I ever needed You, it’s now.”

  Chapter One

  Five years later

  Four-year-old Cheyenne Reynolds slammed the screened door, limping into the house. Tears trickled down her plump cheeks. Faint traces of blood and grass marks stained her pink-and-watermelon-green short set. Dirt played tag with her once clean ruffled socks and new Keds.

  “Mommy, I fell off my bike. I’m bleedin’. Am I goin’ to die?” Her bottom lip trembled.

  Kneeling, Cheney examined the scraped skin below Cheyenne’s knee and relaxed—nothing requiring stitches.

  “No, sweetie, you’ll live to be an old woman with a house full of your own munchkins.” Cheney smiled.

  The child giggled, forgetting her accident.

  Meticulously, Cheney picked leaf fragments from her daughter’s hair, smoothing back wild black strands that had escaped from her two braids.

  Cheyenne laid her head against Cheney’s chest, casting an angelic upward look. “Ooh, Mommy, it hurts. It hurts,” she whimpered. “I can’t walk.”

  “I bet a Bugs Bunny Band-Aid will make it feel better, and then you’ll be able to ride your bike again. Okay, sweetie?”

  Liking the sound of that, Cheyenne nodded and squeezed Cheney with what seemed like all the strength her tiny arms could muster. “You’re the best.” She smacked a hard, wet kiss against Cheney’s cheek. “I wuv you, Mommy.”

  Savoring the moment, Cheney closed her eyes, rocking the preschooler she had created with Larry—no doubt an established attorney by now, but a non-existent father who had fought her daily to terminate the pregnancy.

  “Just do it! It’ll be over before you realize it, and we can get back to the way we were,” Larry had said in a frustrated whisper, waiting outside her dorm room. For days she hadn’t returned his calls and had avoided him in the dining hall.

  Tired of being ignored, Larry had come to see her after a morning exam. Presenting her with a long-stemmed rose, he displayed an expression laden with guilt. Without much coaxing, he guided her to a secluded bench on the other side of campus. Neither hinted at the turmoil raging between them.

  Once they were seated, Larry intertwined his fingers through hers, then stared at a passing car. Cheney didn’t rush him. Her heart was heavy, too. She admired his dark skin, high cheekbones, and large lips. She wondered who their baby would look like.

  Larry seemed to welcome Cheney’s scrutiny before loosening his fingers. He snuggled closer, cherishing her like she meant everything to him. “You know I love you.”

  His whispered proclamation caused Cheney’s vision to blur. “I love you so very, very much, but I’m scared, confused, and excited.”

  Grabbing her around the waist, Larry suddenly recoiled when he touched her stomach. “Baby, our love is strong and endless. We can’t let anything— I mean anything come between us, including this mistake. That’s all this is, a mistake, not a baby.”

  Within days, th
eir tranquility shattered. Tempers flared and disagreements became commonplace. Larry accused her of not thinking rationally about their future. To the contrary, that’s all she had been contemplating, and she was starting to accept the idea of becoming a mother. But the stress and despair overtook Cheney in her weakest state. Finally, she submitted to Larry’s demand, beguiled by a romantic dinner, a seductive body massage, and a dozen roses.

  Honking horns jolted Cheney back to the present and the green traffic light. Fanning her sweaty face, she swallowed back tears. Her trembling hand gripped the steering wheel. “It’s water under the bridge.”

  That one decision had pulled her into hell. The memories had faded in and out during the past five years. Sometimes Cheney could still taste the fear and feel the uncertainty of being an unwed pregnant college student.

  Their loving relationship disintegrated after she allowed Larry to take her to Crist Clinic in Jacksonville, North Carolina. She cried all the way; he concentrated on driving. Once inside, Larry didn’t hold her hand or glance into her grief-stricken eyes as they waited. To add further insult to injury, he had refused to go into the counseling room with her. “It’s nothing more than woman talk. I know you can handle it.”

  Cheney found herself begging God for some guidance. When He didn’t answer, Cheney knew she was on her own. The nurse’s words of wisdom seemed to reinforce what Larry had suggested, “You made the right decision because your man doesn’t look like he wants to be tied down with a small fry.”